Living with Dyslexia
It can be overcome and be a blessing.
My personal experience as a dsylexic
Cooper Abrams
I am taking the time to write this to be an encouragement to those struggling with dyslexia. I am now 63 and was never diagnosed with Dyslexia because I went to school in the 50s and no one knew what it was. I passed the 1st and 2nd grades, but failed the third. I just got by the rest of my grades and graduated from high school in 1961. I would study for hours for a test and then make a C- or fail it. I remember studying ten spelling words each week....and the night before learning them, only to forget them when test time came the next day. I was confused and frustrated by my "stupidity." I would try really hard, but do poorly. I was terribly self conscious and embarrassed by my poor achievements. I knew my teachers and the other students thought I was not very intelligent and looked down on me. I really wanted to make my parents proud of me, but really never did. I did not know what the problem was...but everyone else did....I was dubbed "dumb" or "slow."
I really have no idea how I was able to finish High School....none of my four siblings did, nor had my father. I guess the one thing I had going for me was just plain old stubbornness and refusing to quit. Others in High School dropped out....and I thought about it, but my father insisted that dropping out was not an option. Thank God for my wise father. After High School I worked in a factory for a year on an assembly line and did well. But it was a dead end job, and so I joined the Army.
I wanted to go into electronics, but my test scores prevented that, so they put me in communications. It was not easy, but I worked hard and did well. One thinG that helped me in the Army was no one knew I had done poorly in school. I was given opportunities to advance and I given rank as fast as they could promote me. For two years I was the Communications Chief in a Communications Center in Germany. After I was discharged I joined the Air Force and made Staff Sargent after returning from a year in Vietnam.
I took typing in High School and my job in both services was administrative which helped me to learn to cope with the problem. I forced myself to work at spelling and made me a little book of difficult words I could not remember and I carried a pocket dictionary and a thesaurus with me. After I was discharged I took every technical course I could in electronics and started a Security Systems Company which became very successful. After I left it merged with NAS and later was brought by ADT. It was satisfying to know the Army would not let me train in that field, but I did it on my own.
Although the Security Systems became very successful, I resigned at 36 years old. God was calling me to preach so went to Bible college to become a pastor. One of my High School teachers laughed when my mother told her what I was doing. She taught me in school and knew I was not college material! Because of my SAT scores I had to take several remedial courses, but I took a five year program and I graduated in only four years with a 263 gpa at 40 years old earning a ThB. It was no fun having to work so hard...but somehow, with God's help, I kept going. Sixteen years later, at 56 I began working doing graduate work and at 59 graduated with 3.33 gpa and a MBS. I am presently teaching college Bible courses and I have written many articles on the Bible and Theology and taught courses in two Bible colleges. In 1996 I taught myself HTML programming and began my a web site that contains my material. It gets about 20,000 visitors each month. (Bible-truth.org) . I have pastored four Baptist churches, three of which I started in Utah.
I still have a hard time.......I still make the same mistakes over and over and sometimes want to scream! It is hard to know you know the proper word and in your mind you type it correctly, but then go back and proof you work you find you typed another word and did not know you did it! I have to proof read my writing over and over and still miss mistakes. I often start to type a word I have spelled thousands of times...and at the moment can't remember how to spell it. Often I lapse into depression thinking about how dysfunctional I really am. I get a little angry that what comes so easy for most people is so very hard for me. It is easy to have a pity party...and once in a while I have a short one, but then laugh and get up and get going. No matter what I have been able to accomplish, I still feel like damaged goods and have little self esteem. I don't think I will ever get over that because I know that dsylexia is forever.
My advice and encouragement to other dyslexics is this.....just don't quit, no matter how hard it is, and develop a tough hide....because insensitive and ignorant people will really repeatedly hurt you. Even my wife of 42 years still does not understand what being dyslexic means. She gets frustrated with me when see tells me things and I get them confused. She takes it as a personal affront....when it never is. I love her dearly....and she has had a lot to put up with. She has also been a lot of help and I do not know what I would have done without her.
Take pride in knowing what it really takes for you to accomplish even little things. And do not be discouraged even though few people, if any, acknowledge how hard you it was for you. I have watched people get awards and personal recognition for things that just came natural to them with little effort. I worked ten times harder....and no one cared. It might seem weird, but I thank God for my dyslexia....it made me have to work hard, really hard, to do even ordinary things.....and maybe without it I would not have been successful as I believe I have been.
I have learned that although dyslexics have a learning disability, they are often high talented. For example Albert Enstein, Walt Disny, and a host of other successful men were dyslexic.
One other thing bothers me....I passed it on to my son who has a worse case than I do. But he too is a fighter.... He has an amazing aptitude for mechanics and with no formal training taught himself how be work on diesel engines. He runs a large diesel shop and keeps up over forty trucks and makes over an excellent salary! He has never seen a problem he cannot fix, yet he quit school in the 12th grade and reads on a eight grade or lower level.
You cannot know how much I brag on him and how often I tell him how very proud I am to have such a wonderful son!
Dyslexia will always be with you, but you can learn to lessen its effects and cope with it. You can turn it into a asset if you refuse to quit and let it defeat you. It is not easy and certainly no fun to have this learning disability. But if you fight, refuse to give in and keep going you can live a good life and accomplish about anything you want to. And though you will rarely if ever be recognized for you accomplishments...you will have the personal satisfaction of knowing....you did well and overcame great odds. My personal faith in God and His help has been an invaluable assesst to me, knowing that the Lord was helping me...even when I did not recognized His presence.
Please be encouraged and never give up! God bless you and give you a wonderful life.
Cooper P Abrams III
