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God's Plan for Families Ephesians 5:25-31 Cooper Abrams |
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God's Plan for Families Ephesians 5:25-31 Cooper Abrams |
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It is a serious matter to be the head of a household and have the God given responsibility to direct, guide, protect and be the spiritual leader in the home. Sadly, too many men because of either being weak or being abusive destroy the peace and tranquility that God intended in a home.
Gentlemen, nothing in God's word says you are to degrade your wife, to belittle or to force her into submission to your ideas or opinions. You are to lead by presenting a godly example. Yes, you are to make decisions and they should never demean your wife. If you do you sin against her and also against God. You should never make her the blunt of jokes and always show her a proper and gentlemanly respect. A man who does put his wife down degrades himself. It shows he has no real understanding of the roles of marriage. If he does not respect his wife he will not respect other also. The result will be that he will be a poor husband and leader.
The husband must be a man of integrity. The word "integrity" means being complete, adhering to a code of moral conduct. To be respected a man must a person of morals and live a godly life. To often a weak husband will place an undue burden on his wife because of his lack of stability and common sense. A leader that is followed willingly is a man who has character and integrity.
Another poor leader was what I call the Wimp. He did not understand his role and had no skills of leadership. He could not make a decision on his own. With this guy you never knew were you stood. He would vacillate, tell you one thing and then later another. He always blamed failure on those under him. Most of the decisions were actually made by the men themselves, and they often faltered because of a lack of leadership. Working with him was stressful and unrewarding and he was respected by no one.
Other times I worked under NCOs and Officers who respected their men. They lead rather than bullied. They respected the men the men respected them. The men worked as a team and there was a little strife and we did a good job. It was satisfying and rewarding. The men would have followed this man into hell itself if needed.
The same thing applies to a marriage. A bully and weak husband will not be respected by their wife. There is a world of difference between a boss and a leader. Wives do not need a boss they need a living, respectful and dedicated leader!
Husbands if you have a bully complex I can tell you that your marriage is suffering and you do not have proper and rewarding relationship. If you are a wimp and do not provide sound and respectful leadership in your home....you also have a marriage that is probably dysfunctional.
God wants us to have a happy and rewarding marriage and relationship with our wives and families. It you do not have that....then listen and learn from the Lord's instructions.
2. The degree of love is plain because God used the word "agapaoe" the love that characterizes God. It is unmerited favor. It is favor without restriction. It is the same love that Christ has for the church.
It is a self-sacrificing in the way that Jesus gave himself to be a sacrifice in order that men might be saved from sin and receive eternal life. Interested in the welfare and service of the one loved.
To often husband put conditions on their relationship with their wives. If you meet my needs then I will reward you for it. Wrong! You will never enjoin your wife to you with such an unbiblical attitude. The man who feels this way has the cart before the horse. Someone has to be the one to create an atmosphere where love can flourish and God gives that responsibility to the husband. Men God says YOU are the one who initiates a loving relationship in a family.
Most men think that is the role of the wife. They are dead wrong. God says the husband is to love his wife unconditionally. When that kind of love is present the structure is in place for a loving and rewarding marriage. God has placed this responsibility on the husband.
Women need security. Providing security in the family is not the role of the wife. That is the role of the husband. His responsibility is to provide for his wife and family. A lazy husband will make is almost impossible for a proper relationship with his wife. She needs to be concerned about the family, the children and not were the money comes from.
2. Why did Christ give Himself for the church. (v26-27) Christ gave Himself for the assembly of believers, meaning you and I, so that we could be set a part, sanctified and cleansed. God wanted to provide for us salvation, forgiveness of sins and eternal life and that was something we could not do for ourselves.
Few people understand the message of this verse. Jesus gave believers the local assembly so they could be separated from the world. He gave us a refuge where we are with our brother's and sister's as God's family. He provided for us a place of peace an security, where we could be uplifted and as Ephesians 4:12 states...edified, which means built up in the Lord.
His purpose was to give us a church where by the word of God we could hear His instructions and through obedience to Him be cleansed of sins. Verse 26 says we are "washed by the word." Can God make it any clearer that He wants His children faithful and active in their local church.
4. This is the illustration the Lord used to tell us how important our church is and that we must be faithful in our families as well.
5. In like manner the husband is to be the spiritual leader in the home and the provider. He role to provide a place of refuge for his wife and family where they might be secure and set a part from the world. The home should be a fortress against this evil world we live in that seeks to destroy us. It is the job of the husband to do all he can to provide that place of peace and security.
2. Jesus loved you and I. The man who loves his wife honors himself in the same way that Jesus' love of us honor Him.
3. No man hates himself, but nourishes himself and broods over himself. The man cherishes himself means he holds it dear and broods over himself so that he might give himself the best things. So a man must nourish and cherish his wife and seek the utmost best for them.
A devotion to God means a devotion to one's wife and family. A man who is not devoted and showing biblical love, who is not living his role as husband and father...is not devoted to the Lord. We should not fool ourselves by saying we are committed and devoted to the Lord when we are not devoted and committed unconditionally to our wives and family.
2. In Genesis 2 when God created the family this statement was part of the first marriage vow. "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:23-24)
2. A marriage is to be a union of two people in which they become one in their goals, accomplishment and lives. No more do they go their separate ways, but combine their hearts together in devotion to God and each other. This makes a happy, fulfilling and rewarding marriage.
Israel never had a personal relationship with God. The lived by the God's laws and the blessing or judgment if they did or did not follow it. We in this age live in a special relationship with our Savior. God never referring to Himself as Israel's Father. The word "father" is found 644 times in the Old Testament, but only once does it refer to God as the Father. And this one time refers to Jesus Christ as the "everlasting Father." "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." (Isaiah 9:6)
This mystery that not revealed in the Old Testament was the church which is Christ's bride. Now in the New Testament the mystery is revealed and it not only shows the special relationship we believers in this dispensation have to Jesus Christ....it shows it is passed on in the marriage of Christians. Our relationship with Jesus Christ is personal in that we can approach him as our "papa" or "daddy."
"And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father." (Galatians 4:6)
Why did God inspire Paul to write these words, which are literally God's own words?
Was it not that He created us all, man and woman. Does He not know what is best for us. Has He not created in us the means to live happy, productive and godly lives. Doesn't He want us to experience all the joys and happiness of that he plan and made possible for the family?
Surely, you and I would be fool not to listen to Him and heed His words.
Husbands would you right now, make that commitment to the Lord and to your wife to fulfill your role as God's leader in your family.
The past is gone and cannot be changed, but the future is before us all. Gentlemen what will you do with the Word of God you have heard today?
Introduction: Being the leader of anything carries a great weight of responsibility. The person who is in leadership cannot be weak and indecisive, nor can he be over bearing and harsh. In my life I have seen both extremes and believe me people who abuse their place as leaders degrade themselves and hurt everyone around them.
I. Instruction to Husbands. (Eph. 5:25-31)
ILLUS: I served in the Military for seven years. During that time I was always in subordination to someone. Often the person in charge saw his position as one to exert himself over others. His attitude was such that he was a bully and wanted everyone to know he was the boss. The job he was over was of little importance....what was important to him was he was in charge. Every time this person was a poor leader and caused a lot of problems. The men under him did not work as a team and resented and disliked him.
A. Husband love your wife. (v25)
II. A husband an wife are one flesh. (v31-33)
1. As we said marriage is a partnership. A submissive wife cannot accomplish God's will for the marriage when the husband is unloving and does not honor his wife. The beginning of love is respect. The husband needs to understand his wife's role in the marriage and family and support her in it. Yes, the wife is to be submissive and support her husband, but equally the husband must help his wife to accomplish her God given role. A husband that is a bully and overbearing degrades his wife. No one wants to be around a bully. The husband that does so is a fool and as God says...his actions rob him of having a rewarding and fulfilling marriage and family.
B. It means the husband is to nourish and care for his wife. As a man would care for his own body, he must care for his wife because the two have become one flesh.
3. Verse 28 says it is the same love you have for yourself. Husband often wish their wives were more affectionate and respectful. Yet, many times the fault lies with the husband. He does not take the initiative and lead out to initiate a proper relationship. He waits for his wife to make the move toward a better relationship. God says the husband should love his wife like he loves himself. If you love yourself you will do what pleases you and seek to make yourself happy. Therefore God is saying in the same way and with the same priority husbands should extend love to their wives. The results will be rewarding for both partners.
C. Love your wife as Christ loved the church. What then is the degree of love a husband is to have for his wife and family?
1. Jesus gave Himself for the local church. The giving of Himself caused Him great pain and suffering, but He thought it worth all He had to endure.
3. Do you remember Ephesians 4:11-16 which explained why God gave pastor teachers to the congregation? READ Ephesians 4:12-16.
D. Verse 28 begins with the word "so." That word means in the same way....after the same fashion, or in the same manner men ought to love their wives.
1. The result of Christ's love for the local church will be the same when a husband loves his wife unconditionally.
E. Gentlemen do you understand that you cannot have the right relationship with God when you do not have it with your wife. To be filled with the Spirit means to be in God's will. A husband who is not fulfilling his responsibilities to his wife and family is certainly not letting the Holy Spirit guide and direct him. He who is a poor husband is also spiritually immature and of little use to the Lord. You cannot serve the Lord and others when you are not biblically and lovingly serving you wife and family.
A. Husband leave his father and mother. The husband must break the dependency on his father and mother and make his own way. Marriages are ruined when husband and wives continue to be dependent their father and mothers. Many couples get themselves into trouble and when they run home to mom and dad to be bailed out. A man should take the responsibility for his own family and provide for them what ever it takes. This goes back to the need of the wife for security. Her security should be in her husband not his or her family.
Conclusion: Each husband should love his wife and the wife reverence her husband. (v33)
1. Mothers and fathers often have a hard time letting their sons or daughters go. They often interfere with their lives and that can cause resentment. We should respect their counsel and respect them are our parents, but the responsibility for the family rest with the husband. He will never have the respect his wife need to have in him if he lives off his parents or is too dependent on them.
B. He shall be joined to his wife and they are to be one.
1. In marriage, a husband and wife combine the elements of both into one perfect human being: the one being incomplete without the other.
C. The Great Mystery. (v32) As believers are joined together with Jesus Christ and become His bride, so a man and wife are also spiritually joined together. Please do not miss their wonderful truth. The Old Testament hardly mentions the relationship between a man and woman in marriage. I cannot find where it mentions that the husband and wife become on flesh. Many think this is talking only about sex, but it is not. It is talking about the special relation between a husband and wife that God gave to Christians in this the Church Age. It is something special and we should thank God for it and cherish it.
"For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15)
"Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." (Ephesians 5:33)
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